Tales of the Parodyverse

Chapter 8: A New Villain In The Parodyverse


Post By

Yo
Thu Nov 20, 2003 at 07:26:58 am EST
[ New ] [ Tales of the Parodyverse ]

The evil Yo-being known on Earth by Yerk (and Dolores in her/his native tongue) is inside the LoR Condo. Cloning himself he managed to be at two places at the same time, attacking the most powerful Regulars, Lisa and Donar. One clone has been killed by the Odin’s son (but knocked out the demi-god at the same time). The other tried to capture Lisa. However, helped by the DK, the first Lady of the Lair has escaped and has a plan.. Unfortunately, at the same time that she is going to Xander for help, Yerk has cloned himself once more. One is trying to kill Visionary. The other one is playing poker with Yo. The winner of the game will decide over the life of the Regulars.
For understanding some of the following events you should have to read first HH wonderful story “Third Degree”. If you haven’t go here
http://www.chillwater.org.uk/HH/third%20degree.htm
I have to give him a big thanks for his help

And if the story sucks, well…I thought about posting it before everybody forgot what was about, however didn’t have the time to do it properly, oh well.


*****************

Two months ago…

1, 2, 3..Testing..testing! Xander? Can you hear me? I Hope so, I hate monologs. Anyway, I’m on the spot, Medici’s carnation, like planned. You know, you owe me big time. You *forgot* to mention the place would be packed with the most wanted criminals of the planet and more… And some of them are the biggies!. From my position, I can see Anvil something, that sticky VelcroVixen, Professor Manywhatever and Savagetooth. Oh, and that yummy green girl Gamona. Oh, yeah baby, yeah. You should see her, old chap. Her only clothing is bangles and one necklace strategically positioned. She doesn’t seem to like the newcomer, a youth in a black T-shirt with the words “F*ck You” blazoned across it. He seems a looser to me. Oh, so that is the Mob’s boss… Masamune just got into the party, buddy. I don’t know why, but on her “pink” dosen’t seem like a girlish color anymore…nice shoes too…Okay, end of rumbling. But it’s your fault if I don’t seem able to stop ..the pill you gave to me, the one to improve the pace of my speech is dynamite…Now wait a sec…something is going on between green babe and “f*ck you” kid…I can see sparks flying between both. Literally. And from the look of our man, the great Count Armageddon, he is going to give us what we want soon enough…Are you sure this thingy is an arcane wand and not just a particularly ugly pin?? Well, that is your problem. And here comes mine. Any moment now and Medici will use his powers. Oh, yeah. Fresh Kaos energy, come to daddy…or better, to ugly pin. By the way, you should see what has been left out of F*ck boy… I’m out. Stop of transmitting, Did I said you owe me one?

**************

Back at the present…

Xander..Xander?… you alright?” Lisa asked, summoning the magician back from his thoughts. Thoughts remembering an electronic conversation with the Bog Thing

“Um, yes… Chaos, you said? What if I have it? And if I do, it won’t come cheap…how much are you willing to pay for it?. With digitals everywhere, I’m a bit stuck for money” Xander explained smiling apologetically.

“And the say lawyers are greedy… Anyway, I’m sure we can work out an agreement What did you have in mind?” she questioned bashing her eyelashes lustily.

“Er…plain money would do, an outrageous amount of plain money. And sorry..Lisa. It is not that I don’t trust you…but I don’t. Everybody knows the LoR don’t pay their bills…” Xander explained, while noticing how the Dark Knight was hiding in the shadows “uh.. Your friend is a bit spooky. And dosen’t look completely alive”

“Oh, Don’t mind him, he is all grim and intense. Would you accept a check signed by the omni-mayor, then?. spiffy is one of us, you know..even if we keep forgetting mentioning this little fact to him. But first..what can you do for us?”

**************

After the Regulars had left, Xanders opened his cupboard to let the Bog Thing out. The strange creature unfolded himself, showing a concerned look

“You… didn’t.. mention ..pin ..full of Kaos energy…not.. chaos?”

“I know, but for what they want, the effect will be the same…probably” The Magician answered while preparing tea for his friend

“Probably?”

“And if not..well, we had been paid in advance, right?. We could go out and have a decent meal for a change”

“..more..pills?” the creature hopefully asked

“What do you think I am? A dealer? Let me buy you dinner instead. I know the place with the best food at this side of the Parodyverse. Have you been at the "Bean and Donut Coffee Bar"?

*********

What were you up to at Xanders’? You didn’t open your mouth..” Lisa curiously asked her companion. She was inside DK’s car, holding A little packet tightly in her hands.

“Just field work. Measuring any strange energies, paranormal activities” DK shrugged “There were none. Even this arcane thing didn’t emanate any reading. Nothing at all”

“Are you saying the wand will be useless?. That we paid..I mean…spiffy paid a fortune for a pin..Yuck, he will be so mad” Even the seriousness of the situation didn’t stop Lisa of grinning imaging the politician face…. “I do hope he has an account in Switzerland or he will be the first omni-mayor begging for money on the streets. So Xander is just bluffing. The ones who say he is a fake are right?”

“No, The energies emanating from the wand are clear and loud..Now. The Geiger began beeping madly the moment we left Xanders’ . And that can only mean..”

“That Xander or *something* was blocking the readings before…umm..yes, Xander is not the fool I thought. Anyway, press the accelerator of your spiffy Knightcar. If we weren’t in a bit of a hurry…” she finished looking sideways to the backseat. Now that they have the tool to kick Yerk ass, the 1st Lady of the Lair was in her top faculties again

******************

Inside the Regulars quarters, the crucial poker game is still on. The music from “the Sting” is blasting, smoke all around. Yo against Yerk. Asil, Fleabot and Chris witnessing the odd event

“I never liked fleas. They bother bunnies” Yerk said conversationally, glancing over at the microscopic bug

“For the last time, I’m a robot, dammit!”

“Yerk is winning, Yo. If only the great Visionary was playing” The clone girl muttered


“Oh but he is spying my cards” cheerfully Yo explained, discarding his cards.

“I am dammit not. Did I move? Did I? Did I?” Yerk shouted

“Telepathically spying my cards. But I’m thinking not anymore. Anyway, more whisky?” Yo politely offered. He couldn’t help but notice that Yerk was greatly enjoying the game. More than that, s/he was enjoying the company. Not for the first time Yo blamed Yo-planet cruelty. They have condemned Yerk to a solitary and evil existence. When all was finished and done, s/he will make a quick visit to home sweet home and thought-kick some asses

“Sure. Why not? Alcohol is nothing to me if I am thinking I am sober ” he evilly chuckled

“Asil, pour us some more, would you? From the cute purple bottle…”


****************


Next: We witness Visionary struggles to keep himself alive. The defeat of an evil villain or not. Learn more about Donar’s fate. And what the hell is NTU-150 up to. Finally the death of an hero..again, followed by an explanation why you shouldn’t accept whisky from cute purple bottles.







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